For a stay-at-home mom of toddler twins in a new state, there should’ve been a therapist included in our relocation package.
“You wanna hang out this weekend?” doesn’t exist in this part of the country because, if there’s not a graduation, there’s a nephew’s birthday party or t-ball game. Although there’s something warm and fuzzy about how tight extended family is here in the heartland, it’s no fun for the new girl.
There are several other components to consider with mommy friends: Do I like her? Does she laugh at my very funny jokes? Do I like her kids? Do my kids like her kids? Will our spouses get along? It’s a delicate balance. But after a year of living in Nebraska friendless, my kids managed to form the words: “Mom, you need some adult friends.”
I found a mommy match website. You go in, do a profile, and find people who match your profile. It’s like a dating service for moms. You follow pretty much all the same dating rules on a mommy level. Meet in a public space. Let someone know exactly where you will be. Check back in as soon as you’re done. Have someone call and check in so that you have an out if you need it.
The first lady I met had an intense passion for cats, and a lot of them. She was mean to her kid, who threw dirt at me. I didn’t even wait for my check-in call. Instead, I used a lame kid emergency like, “It’s nap time…gotta go!” We dashed home, I put the kids down for that nap, and I re-filtered my mommy dating profile search. It worked. I found someone online, and we’ve been “dating” for years.
A beautiful byproduct of our friendship is the many new friends we’ve made together. That, and she laughs at all of my jokes. Mommy friends are to be cherished for an eternity, whether you meet them at that nephew’s t-ball game or online.