Tag Archives: moving

Coping with the Loss of a Pet

May 25, 2013 by

Q: We had to give one of our dogs to another family because we’re moving, and my daughter is not handling it very well. What should I do? She is 9.

A: Losing a pet, for any reason, is often hard for kids. Pets become part of the family, so expect your daughter to go through a grieving process. Anger, tears, irritability, sadness…any of these might show up, so be patient as she works through them.

If your daughter is one who likes to talk at bedtime, hang out with her a little longer than usual. Even if neither of you says anything, your presence can be comforting. Share your feelings, but chances are there isn’t anything you can say that will change the situation, so let her do most of the talking. Also, take her lead on discussing the possibility of a new pet in the future. Be cautious not to convey the message that her pet is easily replaceable, and don’t make promises you might not be able to keep.

Will the new family send pictures? Your daughter might not want to see them right away, but it’s helpful to have them if this changes. Pictures also help hold onto good memories, so try putting together a photo album or scrapbook of the pet if it’s something she would enjoy. Working with her on the project provides another opportunity for her to talk to you about whatever’s on her mind.

As she adjusts to life without her pet, keep her busy. If you can make it work, trying letting her spend some extra time with friends or family. Having fun is a great way to keep her mind off feeling sad.

Deb Fuller is a mental health therapist with Real Life Counseling in Omaha.

A Rockbrook Renovation

April 25, 2013 by
Photography by Bill Sitzmann

Imagine having a home you love, then finding a home you love even more. The new home has additional space and is in a great neighborhood that’s ideal for your growing family. In fact, you happen to find your new home even before it’s on the market. A kind neighbor nearby tips you off that a beautiful, spacious home will soon be for sale. Excited and eager, you walk across the street and head inside. Fingers crossed, you walk up the porch steps and through the front door. And then it hits you.

You cross the threshold. While the home looks lovely on the outside, the inside has a style that’s not quite your own. The layout, design, and furnishings aren’t exactly what you and your spouse had in mind. But the house has potential. And so you make the purchase and begin renovating and redecorating. This is precisely what happened to Davin and Allison Bickford of Omaha.

Allison and Davin Bickford in the kitchen with their daughters.

Allison and Davin in the kitchen with their daughters.

The young couple and their 3-year-old daughter moved from their cozy Aksarben home to their current home just a stone’s throw from 108th Street and West Center Road. The move to their new home, its renovation, and the birth of their second daughter spanned just a few hectic months that also overlapped Christmas last year. By all accounts, the Bickfords were ambitious to create their dream home in short order.

They knew several of the families in and around their current home. It was an ideal neighborhood, one where homes were routinely sold with little to no advertising necessary.

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“The former owner was packing up the house when I realized it would soon be for sale,” Allison explains of the District 66 neighborhood. “This is a close-knit, welcoming neighborhood with lots of small children and impromptu driveway parties.”

When the Bickfords, both 29, closed on the home last year, they began planning for major renovations to the main floor. Initially, the kitchen was closed off from the rest of the home. Carpet was everywhere except the bathroom. And the color scheme was generally dark.20130313_bs_9339_Web

This being a home where they planned to spend the next several years, Davin and Allison opted to rethink the main level. Working alongside Omaha interior designer Julie Hockney, the Bickfords removed the kitchen’s outward-facing wall to create a more open and spacious floor plan.

The Bickfords enjoy entertaining with family and friends and designed a kitchen where conversations could still take place during meal preparation. Today, the kitchen boasts white cabinetry, granite countertops, stainless-steel appliances, a farmhouse sink (which Allison called her “must-have” piece) and, perhaps best of all, an open countertop connecting the living space.20130313_bs_9418_Web

“Davin and I knew the style that we wanted, but we weren’t sure how to mix everything together,” Allison says. “We like to entertain and wanted our home to feel warm and entertaining, but also with that elegant feel. Lived-in and classic but comfortable, too.”

Hockney worked alongside the Bickfords throughout the renovation and redecoration. The walls were painted a dark gray. White crown molding and new floors were installed to give the home a sleek, modern, and spacious feel, yet still warm enough for their two young daughters.20130313_bs_9499_Web

A large, gray couch and patterned chair fill the living room, along with a refurbished bench below the main window. (The Bickfords joke that their new living room pieces fit their style and design aesthetic; however, all of the fabric has been treated to avoid stains from spills and other in-home mishaps. They are the parents of two small children, after all.) The living room’s fireplace also received a major facelift to match the updated décor and design throughout the main level.

Hockney says she worked hard to ensure the home portrayed a modern, classic design that was combined with new and vintage pieces. The living room bench, for example, is a repurposed coffee table that’s been topped with a seating cushion.20130313_bs_9436_Web

Davin and Allison sold most of their furniture when they moved into their new home; now, they’re slowly filling it with pieces, light fixtures, and other accessories that they truly love.

“We wanted to start with a clean slate and fill it as we go,” Davin says.20130313_bs_9470_Web

The clean lines and sleek design of the kitchen and living room continue down the hall into the bathroom and the guest bedroom: white furniture and accessories, gray walls, and modest pops of color here and there. New light fixtures abound throughout the main level (several of which are small pendants) offering a cozy glow both day and night.

Color abounds in both daughters’ bedrooms, facets of which are holdovers from the Bickfords’ Aksarben home. One bedroom is awash with pink bedding and pink accents. The wall is a gray-and-white chevron pattern, continuing with the gray and white hues throughout the home. The other daughter’s bedroom is largely a soothing, pale green with white accents, giving it a cozy feel.20130313_bs_9530_Web

The Bickfords’ master bedroom and adjoining bathroom are next to receive facelifts. Just as with their young family, their home’s beauty is growing and maturing every day.

Distressed About Downsizing?

December 25, 2012 by
Photography by Bill Sitzmann

Moving out of your house can be challenging for anyone. But when the house you are leaving has been your family home for the last few decades, it can be even more daunting.

The idea of packing up items accumulated over the years is, at first, a logistical nightmare. Then the sentimental factor sets in and it can be seen, by some, to be a nearly unbearable task. For others, letting go of all this “stuff” can be freeing and symbolizing a fresh start. Either way, it is undeniably a big undertaking.

Many seniors are facing this very situation for a variety of reasons, including simply downsizing, restricted mobility, and being unable to maintain their current home. Just as there are a variety of reasons for moving, there are a variety of services designed to help seniors and their families achieve this goal.

Kris Kircher, owner of Caring Transitions, is one of several local businesses that specialize in helping seniors and their families pack their belongings, spruce up the house, and get everything ready for the old house to sell and the new home to be move-in ready.

“We get [the house] completely cleaned out,” she says. “We [can] do it all for them.” For nearly 20 years, Kircher has been helping seniors and their families sort through all kinds of items, preparing them for an estate sale, for donation, or just to de-clutter and downsize. She can also help to get them settled in their new location.

Kircher explains that, to get the process started, she encourages her clients to focus on their goals. “Normally, it is to clean out the house so it can be sold,” she says. Often, the secondary goal is to make some money by selling unnecessary items through either an estate sale or through consignment. “I try to make sure I’m working with them to meet their goals so that they can have a say on what’s going on.”

Liz Ryan, owner of Once Upon a Time Estate Sales, has been in been the business of offering estate tag sales since 1981. Through her years of experience, she has seen that making this transition can be hard for all those involved. Just like Kircher, Ryan and her staff are determined to make the process as smooth as possible for their clients. “We try to accommodate…a person who is feeling overwhelmed about the potential move,” says Ryan.

Kircher adds that since this can be an exceptionally emotional time, she is careful to be respectful of the client’s feelings about the move. “There is a lot of loss and some mourning when you’re looking at giving up your home that you’ve lived in for 45 or 50 years,” she says. “You’re also mourning the fact that you can no longer live in your home…you can’t maintain it.”

“There’s a lot of sentiment attached to material things,” agrees Ryan. “The idea of moving and leaving the place you called home for many years is daunting, so we try to make that transition as smoothly as possible.”

Both Kircher and Ryan say that they often act as an advocate for the senior, as well as for their family, when a client has decided it’s time to move to a new residence. “When [the client] is looking for someone to work with, they’re really looking for someone to take care of all the details and someone who can do it respectfully,” says Kircher.

In being the advocate for the family, both businesses can take the entire process from start to finish, leaving the family time to focus on other, more enjoyable things.

“[My team] will work with someone in the house; or in many cases, we’re handed a key and we go through everything [in the house],” says Ryan. “We separate everything. Then we clean it, polish it, shine it, set it up on tables with velvet table clothes.” She says that they have sold everything from cars and boats to pots and pans.

The usual estate sale lasts three days. “For the final product the customer gets an entire inventory, piece by piece, of everything that has [left] the house with the item priced.” She says that Once Upon a Time Estate Sales is one of only two local estate sales services that provide the customer with the original cashier’s book. “It’s fun for people to go through because they’re incredulous at what some of [the items] will bring.”

For those who may have items better suited for a collection than a consignment shop, Holly Hackwith with Corporate Art Co. is a certified art appraiser through the International Society of Appraisers. She and her staff work with clients who want to find out the value of their artwork.

“Often, the client will want to know what it’s worth [in terms of] the fair market value because they want to gift different pieces to grandchildren or children, and they want to be fair about it,” she explains. “In other words, they want to be equitable in dollar amounts and they don’t know what [the piece is] currently worth.”

Hackwith also works with clients who are downsizing and are not sure whether to keep something, sell it, or need to have it insured. “Seniors would [also] want to have appraisal…if they want to give it as a charitable gift to an institution. I am accredited with the International Society of Appraisers to appraise anything that needs to be overseen by the IRS or for legal work.”

The idea of packing up a lifetime of possessions and moving on from where memories were made can seem monumental. But when the task is put into trusted hands of experts who respect your feelings and your belongings, it becomes a little easier to bear. And while letting go of our material items can be difficult at first, thankfully, the memories are easily carried with us wherever we go.