Tag Archives: father

Home Is Where the Oven Is

July 18, 2017 by
Photography by Bill Sitzmann

When Nicola Shartrand decides to spend a lazy summer morning with her two young children in their home near Lake Manawa, odds favor the happy trio baking sheets of cookies before noon in their newly renovated kitchen.

When she drives deeper into Council Bluffs to the family’s bakery, often with kids in tow, she makes hand-painted macarons, tortes, breads, cookies, and dozens of cupcakes, which then fill space in the display case, ready for public consumption.

And when John Shartrand takes the family across the Missouri to their restaurant that bears Nicola’s name, they no doubt top off the meal with Nicola’s award-winning Italian lemon cream cake.

The Shartrands’ life revolves around the food created in three different kitchens. The family travels back and forth along the routes that connect the points in their life: Nicola’s Italian Wine and Fare at 13th and Jackson streets in Omaha’s historic Old Market; Stay Sweet, Nicola’s—their bakery at 805 S. Main St. in Council Bluffs; and their gracious home in hues of gray on a quiet cul-de-sac.

The restaurant represents 15 years of ambition, hard work, and faith rewarded; the bakery, which opened in December, symbolizes dreams fulfilled; the new home kitchen has its own story, one with deep meaning for the family.

“John knew I had been putting in all these hours all these years at the restaurant, and he said, ‘You’re going to wake up one day and the kids will have graduated high school, and you will have missed the whole thing,’” Nicola recounts. “He said, ‘You love baking, you’re really good at it, why don’t you practice while you’re at home? Let me run the restaurant at night.’”

And so the original home kitchen became a laboratory for perfecting and tweaking popular dishes served at Nicola’s Italian Wine and Fare, creating new dishes, and developing recipes for baked goods. Nicola experimented for six months on the lemon cake “because Martha Stewart said every restaurant should offer something lemony.” Once perfected, the light, moist, not-too-sweet lemon cake exploded on the scene. As a result, demand for all her baked goods exploded.

So did the family kitchen.

“I pretty much destroyed it from overuse,” Nicola says, laughing as she proceeds to list a litany of problems. “We went through every single major appliance. The cabinet doors fell off from constant opening and closing. The stove went out. We needed a bigger refrigerator. And it was a really cramped working space.”

For Nicola’s birthday two years ago, John announced he would build her a new kitchen. “I wear many belts,” he quips.

The couple used a computer program offered by an assemble-it-yourself home furnishings store to measure, design, and order the materials for the new kitchen. The transaction could have gone better.

“They told us our plans were too ambitious, that we were out of our league,” John says. And when it came time to lug 279 flat boxes out of the store, “they said they wouldn’t help me.”

Undeterred, John loaded a U-Haul truck by himself, drove home, and emptied every little chrome knob and handle, every shelf, drawer, door, and cabinet from the containers. It only took a month to transform the culinary space.

They painted the new cabinetry gray to match the wall coloring. The cabinetry—above and below the long kitchen counter—helps provide 50 percent more storage space than before.

A narrow floor-to-ceiling pantry pulls out shelves and drawers to hold foodstuffs categorized by cans, bottles, and paper, “so nothing gets lost inside it,” Nicola says. Two bottles of industrial-size Worcestershire sauce appear prominently in front, as does a gallon of olive oil, which she affectionately refers to as “the best stuff on earth.”

A backsplash made of off-white, 3-by-6-inch glazed subway tiles provides a simple, clean, classic look.

The couple complemented the backsplash tile by placing an off-white, solid slab of quartz on top of the kitchen island, located in the middle of the open floor plan.

Underneath, a cabinet with 20 drawers of different depths neatly holds everything from dozens of spatulas (Nicola keeps breaking them) and half-used bags of fennel seeds to large pots and pans.

A two-door stainless steel KitchenAid refrigerator shares the kitchen’s color scheme with its gray interior, and the double-oven stove “makes cooking Thanksgiving dinner for the family really easy,” Nicola says.

The doting husband’s wish for his wife, to spend more time with Stavros, 9, and Gigi, 7, has resulted in personal growth for Nicola. Her stay-at-home baking experiments proved so popular she now supplies other restaurants and coffee shops with her sweets. She also takes special orders.

The extra income enabled John and Nicola, who both grew up in Omaha, to purchase a brick-and-mortar commercial space in Council Bluffs last November, which handyman John transformed into a full-service coffee bar and bakery. With its commercial-grade mixers and appliances, Stay Sweet, Nicola’s has taken over as the primary baking site.

John now works 14-hour days. He opens the bakery to start the espresso machine and bake muffins, intersects with Nicola and the kids in the afternoon, then crosses the bridge to oversee the restaurant.

The reward for all this hard work: a happy family.

Visit nicolasintheoldmarket.com and staysweetnicolas.com for more information about Nicola Shartrand’s culinary enterprises.

From left: Stavros, Nicola, and Gigi Shartrand.

This article was printed in the July/August 2017 Edition of Omaha Home.

Fathers and Daughters

July 22, 2013 by

Men hold incredible power over the future their daughters will experience. Sometimes, I have to wonder how many fathers realize that. And how many grieve for realizing it too late?

I’m not just talking about financial security or educational opportunities. The way a father treats his daughter molds her as a person, and especially how she sees herself as a woman. It’s a unique relationship, unlike that between mothers and sons, dads and sons, and mothers and daughters. How fathers choose to manage their relationships with their daughters has a lifelong impact that can be devastating if it doesn’t go well.

“A little girl first learns how to relate to men though her father,” says Pegg Siemek-Asche, statewide administrator for behavioral health at Lutheran Family Services of Nebraska. “If that goes badly, it sets a stage for difficulty as the young woman ages.” If a father never pays attention to his daughter, never spends time being playful, or never expresses his approval of her—her looks, her actions, her behavior—it can create a vacuum of positive self-esteem that the young woman will eventually seek to fill in other ways, most likely negative ones.

Through their actions (or inactions), a father teaches his daughter how she should expect to be treated by men, both good and bad. Young women blessed with warm, loving, and encouraging relationships with their fathers will seek the same in their partners.

Conversely, those who do not have that kind of support will struggle and likely seek to find that approval in unhealthy ways. Young women who report negative relationships with their father say they often have trouble dating, flirting, or even forming true romantic relationships. They simply never learned how. It’s not unusual for these girls to become promiscuous in their frustrating search for masculine approval.

This explains why so many smart women end up in unhealthy and even abusive relationships. It’s what they are used to and comfortable with. They instinctively choose partners who treat them as their father did—and believe they deserve no better. So what, specifically, can a father do to help his daughter towards a healthy adulthood?

“Girls need to hear they are attractive, capable, and smart—from their father,” says Siemek-Asche. “Girls are hyper-sensitive about their appearance and abilities, and they want Dad’s approval.” One misplaced or misspoken comment about her weight or looks can be heartbreaking, and a thoughtful dad will realize he should tread carefully. This sets the stage for positive self-image that will benefit her for a lifetime.

One-on-one time is very important. “You are teaching her how others, especially men, should talk with her, how she should expect to be treated,” says Siemek-Asche. This starts young but becomes even more important as she approaches pre-teen and teen years. Around age 10, especially, girls are incredibly vulnerable and insecure. “That’s when you start seeing a lot of the ‘mean girl syndrome,’ as girls start taking their insecurities out on each other. Dad can really make a difference by being supportive and engaged with his daughter.”

And finally, the relationship between mom and daughter can become very strained during the early and mid-teens, as the young woman seeks her own path away from her mother. It can be hard for both of them, but the father can be a tremendous help in creating a bridge between the two as they get through those trying years. Even if the parents are no longer together, it remains important for the father to treat his daughter’s mother with integrity and respect. Little girls pick up messages from that relationship as well.

And perhaps the most important message of all for dads? Be there for your daughter. Make the effort to be present at every age. She’ll notice. And finally, your daughter will never be too old for a hug and to hear that you love her. Tell her.

Erich Hover

October 25, 2012 by
Photography by Bill Sitzmann

Erich Hover still speaks of his father, Ed, in a tone of respect, describing him as a “big, strong, tall, handsome, six-foot-two guy” who liked to fish and hunt, play racquetball, and work in his garden.

“My dad was always strong for us…he always wanted to provide for us…he never wanted us to think that there was anything wrong with him,” Hover says.

But the younger Hover, an actor and producer, will be telling a different story about his father on the big screen. At 62, Ed Hover is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease only four years after his initial symptoms and diagnosis, typifying the early-onset form of the disease (his son prefers the term “younger-onset”) as being particularly aggressive and swift. Erich Hover is currently in pre-production for a feature film that will be based on his family’s experience.

“We want to shed some light on Alzheimer’s disease, and we also want to portray a family that’s sticking together through a very difficult situation. We want to tell an uplifting story…it’s important to me for it not to have to be a downer,” Hover says.

The Hover family at Erich's brother's wedding, 2011. Photo provided by Erich Hover.

The Hover family at Erich’s brother’s wedding, 2011. Photo provided by Erich Hover.

Hover, who graduated from Omaha Benson High School in 1998, launched his acting career eight years ago, appearing in local commercials for Horseshoe Casino, Regency Court, and the Iowa Lottery (he is still remembered for bursting out of a bucket, doused in black oil). In 2006, he left his full-time real estate position and relocated to Los Angeles. Among other films, he’s appeared in 2009’s For the Love of Amy (beloved Omaha actor John Beasley was a lead), and he also had a small role in 2011’s Moneyball, starring Brad Pitt.

The feature film will be his first project serving as a producer, and Hover credits his education over his acting experience with getting him there. He graduated from the University of Nebraska-Kearney in 2002 with a degree in organizational communication and a minor in marketing.

“Communications and marketing is kind of what this business is. A film never gets seen unless you find ways of marketing it,” he explains. “It absolutely helped me having that degree. It gave me the confidence that I can go out and produce something,
 create something.”

Hover, who already visits Omaha frequently to see family, says he made a deliberate choice to film in the area, with shooting likely to begin next spring, if not this fall. Local actors will be included in the cast, and he’s also partnering with some of the same Omahans “in the business” who helped him along in his acting career, including filmmaker Derek Baker, Manya Nogg of Actors Etc., and businessman/executive producer Jeff Burton. The three will share producing credits with him.

“We want to shed some light on Alzheimer’s disease, and we also want to portray a family that’s sticking together through a very difficult situation.”

“[Omaha’s] where I was born and raised, and it’s important to me to be able to bring a project back here. And it’s a personal story about me and my family, so I want to keep it as close to home as possible,” he says.

Hover is also excited to have others he’s grown to respect attached to his project. “Jay Giannone, who has acted in such movies as Gone Baby Gone, The Departed, the recently-released Safe, and the upcoming The Iceman, will act in the film, produce with me, and write the screenplay with Eric Watson based on my story,” he said. “Eric will write and direct the film. His credits include Pi (which won The Sundance Film Festival), Requiem for a Dream, and The Fountain.”

His movie, in which Hover plays the lead character, is close to home in other ways, too. The film is filled with personal references, from a 1950s pickup truck that refuses to start to dogs with the names of real Hover family pets.

“The people in the film are parallel to my family, and the major elements are actual real-life occurrences my family has gone through,” Hover says. “Even the dialog—the conversations between me and my father—are from things my dad and I have actually said to each other in real life.”

Ironically, Ed Hover watched his mother, now 93, struggle with Alzheimer’s before his own diagnosis. His son says he is acutely aware that the odds of being a third-generation sufferer are significant.

Hover with actor Philip Seymour Hoffman on the set of Moneyball. Photo provided by Erich Hover.

Hover with actor Philip Seymour Hoffman on the set of Moneyball. Photo provided by Erich Hover.

“I don’t want to live my life in fear, so I want to create something that can help find a cure,” he says. “I don’t have millions that I can donate to research, I’m not a doctor who can be in a lab finding a cure…I’m an actor and a producer, and if I can put something up on the screen that can reach a large audience, well, then, that can increase awareness and hopefully motivate people to take action with their time and their donations to research.”

His family, who is depicted in the movie, has been behind him from the beginning, Hover says.
“I really couldn’t have done this without my parents’ and brothers’ blessing. I mean, we’re talking about something that’s happening with our family, with our father,” Hover says. “My father’s in a place where I don’t know if he’s really exactly aware of what we’re doing, but he has always been supportive of my career…If my dad would have said ‘No, don’t do this movie about me,’ I would not have done it; I would have respected his wishes.

“The fact that he’s in this place where [Alzheimer’s disease] has been so aggressive and he’s so far along with it, I feel like I have to do this for him to honor him and to help other people, including my own family.”