When it comes to buying gifts, men are much simpler than you tend to make us out to be. Every man I know either asks for absolutely nothing or something extremely specific. I’ve gone so far as to take a picture of a particular item, or to look it up on the internet and e-mail the model number to my sweetheart only to unwrap the wrong gift on Christmas morning. If he says he doesn’t want anything for Christmas, he’s either serious about that or far too high maintenance (and it’s your fault for being with such a pain in the butt).

Men. Feed them, make love to them, and let them sleep. And come Christmas morning, if he asks for a Milwaukee drill, don’t buy him a Dewalt because the salesclerk said they were the same thing. They’re not; one is yellow, one is red. That would be like him not noticing that you got your hair done. But the truth is, to him, your hair looks the exact same all the time no matter what you happen to see in the mirror.

If he asks for the Milwaukee, buy the Milwaukee. Then you have every excuse to be upset if he doesn’t notice your new pair of shoes.

Lüc Carl is a writer in NYC, originally from Springfield, Neb. His website, LucCarl.com, has had over one million hits in one year. Look for his book The Drunk Diet. Follow @luccarl on Twitter.