You may have already surmised that you are, in fact, getting older. Some of the indicators can be obvious: It takes you two or six tries to get up from the couch; parts of your body seem to be sloughing off like waterlogged loess. In broad terms: You’ve noticed that gravity has become your enemy.
But some signs can be quite subtle. So, to help things out, we’ve pieced together a profoundly serious checklist to help you gauge whether you are, in fact, just maybe, beginning to age a bit.
You know you’re 60 plus when…
- You’ve actually driven to Hebron to see the World’s Largest Porch Swing.
- “Happy Hour” is a nap.
- You expect to see farm fields when you drive west of 72nd Street.
- You wake up looking like your driver’s license picture.
- Your address book has mostly names that start with “Dr.”
- You remember when the College World Series was held somewhere other than Omaha.
- And you enjoy saying things like, “I remember when the College World Series was held somewhere else.”
- You send money to PBS after watching “Antiques Roadshow.”
- You have a party and the neighbors don’t even realize it.
- You still have a rotary dial, landline telephone.
- You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
- You still write letters to the editor of the local newspaper.
- You remember who Zorinsky Lake is named after.
- You turn out the lights for economic rather than romantic reasons.
- You enjoy hearing about other people’s surgical operations.
- You coached anyone who is now in a hall of fame.
- You have a ticket stub from a concert at Peony Park.
- You know what an IBM Selectric is.
- Neighbors borrow your tools.
- You miss the chicken at Rose Lodge, brunch at the Golden Apple, and hanging out at Tiner’s Drive-In on Dodge.
- You consider a stroll through Memorial Park to be a day hike.
- You’ve actually ridden on a real streetcar in Omaha.
- People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
- You’re proud of your lawn mower.
- You remember when Saturday afternoon shopping at Brandeis was a dress-up affair.