Eat ’Em If Ya Got ’Em

July 21, 2017 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine

To quote Monsanto’s 1970s propaganda: “Without chemicals, life itself is impossible.” The multinational agrochemical/biotech corporation is ostensibly in the business of helping farmers grow food. So, let’s just say, “Without food, human existence goes kaput.” […]

If I Were King

April 27, 2017 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine

I have difficulty falling asleep because I obsess about one thing or another that happened during the day—like the lobby door at the dentist’s office that lacks a “push/pull” label, or the person ahead of […]

Drunk on a Truth Binge

April 18, 2017 · Posted In: Humor, Omaha Magazine

What does a medieval murder have to do with your television viewing habits? How could a bit of historical treachery lead to a description of your propensity for watching endless hours of Netflix, abandoning family […]

The Best Is Yet to Come

April 5, 2017 · Posted In: Business, Omaha Magazine

Wow! A city of “Bests!” Omaha is filled with so many amazing businesses, innovators, artists, entrepreneurs, vendors, doctors, venues, restaurants, and… well you name the category. The “Bests.” They make us proud to be from […]

One For the Books

January 11, 2017 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine, Publications

Well, another year has come and gone. That is to say: last year has gone, and this new one has come. That is, to be more precise, assuming you are reading this essay sometime after […]

Looks Like We Got Us A Failure

October 3, 2016 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine, Publications

We all know the old quote. “If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” This kind of persistence is considered a virtue, especially when one is engaged in a noble pursuit like trying to […]

A Hole Truth

August 26, 2016 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine, Publications

There are two things everybody has…” Those are the wise words of my grandfather, Johannes, who hated Kaiser Bill, loved bacon ends, and worked the hard soil of northern Iowa for most of his life. […]

The Revenge of the Lawn

July 20, 2016 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine, Publications

Being a suburbanite—a classification that gnaws at the very fabric of my bohemian soul—I find myself more and more obsessed with the vegetation that surrounds my mid-century modern home. It is as if there is […]

Ode to M’s Pub

March 25, 2016 · Posted In: Downtown, Encounter, Lifestyle, Publications

Mirrors Covered in lives And streaked with assignations and carrots on buns and snails and fine wine and fruit in vodka jars as large as your darling’s eyes spying on you from that perfect angle […]

Get Lost

December 4, 2015 · Posted In: Entertainment, Humor, Omaha Magazine, Publications

We pause now for a moment of silence in memory of the plethora, the genus, phylum, and species of old jokes japing the male’s propensity to stubbornly refuse to ask for help on the way to […]


 
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